As distasteful as it may seem to the
National Organization for Women, the vast majority of teachers
in home-schooling homes are stay-at-home moms.
These women have combined the roles of
model-mom June Cleaver and superteacher "Our Miss Brooks,"
making a mighty commitment of their lives to their children.
No one should think, however, that home-schooling fathers
aren’t important.
After 15 years in the home-schooling
movement, I am convinced that an "involved dad" tops the wish
list of nearly every home-schooling mom.
Fortunately, opportunities abound for a dad
who wants to become the man of his wife’s dreams. Gentlemen,
it does not matter to your wife how you help relieve her load
so long as you do.
A home-schooling mom has two major areas of
responsibility: caring for a home and teaching academics to
her children. Her husband can pick tasks from either area and
make his wife equally happy.
A husband who does the laundry, goes
grocery shopping, cleans the kitchen or cooks a couple dinners
a week makes a major contribution in the area of keeping the
home.
Or a husband can choose the area of
academics and help his wife by giving spelling tests, drilling
children with the memorization of math facts, doing science
experiments, or grading a few assignments.
Many dads have aspirations of teaching
their children a couple of subjects—math, science and history
are the usual favorites. If you can pull it off, it is a great
idea and a real assistance to your wife.
But let me give you a word of caution: If
your child is not yet a teen-ager, do not attempt to teach a
core academic subject unless you can do it at least three days
a week during the daylight. It’s OK to teach a teen a couple
of subjects at night, but little children deserve the
opportunity to learn during the day while they are fully
awake. A dad who assists as needed with academics can be more
helpful in the long run than a dad who takes on a course with
a lot of good intentions but little chance of following
through.
One of the most important things a dad can
do is to ensure that his wife gets a regular break in her
schedule. My wife, Vickie, has gone for a two or three mile
walk virtually every day of our quarter-century of marriage,
even when pregnant or during blizzards.
Before we got to the stage of life where we
have four children of appropriate baby-sitting age, it was my
responsibility to arrange my schedule so that Vickie could go
for a walk while I watched the kids as often as possible. That
mental and physical break has been a tremendous part of
Vickie’s success as a home-schooling mom.
Your wife may like to swim or sew or
read—whatever it is, provide baby-sitting assistance so that
your wife takes the breaks she has more than earned.
One gadget that is a must for
home-schooling families—and what man doesn’t like gadgets—is
the plain, old answering machine. Buy one for your wife and
encourage her to use it. Home-schooling moms get a lot of
interruptions during their school day, from long distance
telephone salespeople to "a friend of a friend" whose "few"
questions about home schooling turn into 45 minutes right in
the middle of the time mom was planning to teach math.
Finally, don’t forget a few heartfelt words
of appreciation to your wife on a regular basis. She is
performing academic miracles with your kids.
Tell her that you are both grateful and
amazed at all she gets done. I guarantee she’ll like that.
